Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
