she woke up with a sticky ear
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
