these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
