Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
