Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
