I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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