her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
