my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
