This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
