This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
