Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
