One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
