It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
