i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
