guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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