so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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