I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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