walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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