sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
