just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She's the barista slut.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
