ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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