you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
