okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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