Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
literally had 100 drinks last night.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
