So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize