I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
