I got chris browned last night
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Boobs speak an international language.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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