Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
