i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
