At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize