I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
either way he was missing a nipple.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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