He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
