But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
