I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
