One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize