got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
