We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
