I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
