OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize