In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
