69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
