Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
