Non-Jews are for practice
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
