So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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