He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
