That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
