check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
