This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
