when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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