Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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