I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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