O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
