i think my mom watched the whole time
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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