If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just had sex on a roof
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
