If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
