she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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