it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
