Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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