Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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